Ickus had a vague, yet disturbing enough, morningmare today about hairballs, technically known as trichobezoars.

Never having cohabited with a poor creature plagued by this chronic ailment, Ickus had never seen such thing until he found a rather graphic image online. (For the benefit of Ickus’ smooth friends who are unfamiliar with trichobezoars, Ickus has posted the image at right.)

Apparently the victim may expel these either by regurgitation or defecation, weekly or bi-weekly on average. They are a serious health hazard if lodged in the small intestine. (If you suspect you or someone in your family has a trichobezoar that cannot pass, please seek medical attention.)

Ickus concludes that a significant amount of hair must be ingested to produce a specimen such as the one pictured and that our long-haired brothers and sisters in springtime are most susceptible (especially those whose assistants perform inadequate grooming). Even childhood wool-licking did not produce in Ickus such an effect.

If you are hairless (or nearly hairless) be grateful, and be kind to those whom you suspect might suffer this indignity. And if tempted to raise this subject with them, please use discretion.

Ickus would like to hear from readers who are experienced with trichobezoars. Specifically, Ickus is interested in answers, not found online, to the following questions:

• Do hairball barfs feel like regular barfs?
• Technically, at what point does a poop with hair in it become a pooped hairball?
• Are hairballs a waste product?
• Could hairballs be repurposed industrially?
• Can one perform divination by hairball?